this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
