Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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