You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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