maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
