Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
