She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
