"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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