I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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