even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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