I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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