i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
