im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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