I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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