I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize