I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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