Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
