At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
