Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
