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i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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