In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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