So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
