You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
