im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
