I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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