Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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