we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
