go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
