2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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