this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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