Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
