sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
