Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
