they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
