Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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