***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
