I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think I am morally bankrupt
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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