Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
