Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
