Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
