No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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