careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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