Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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