No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
