Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
