who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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