problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
