I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
