He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
