While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
