Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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