we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
